If you’ve been on social media for the past 24-48 or so hours, price you’ve either come across or seen threads and/or tweets about #HurtBae, medical which came about after a video was posted by twitter handle @scene .It sets up the situation where a broken up couple is sitting face to face having a conversation about what went wrong with their relationship, discount a looking for closure of sorts. It went all types of left.
“How many times did you cheat on me?” “Honestly? I wasn’t keeping count.”
Just… no respect.
The video took over social media like wild fire, sparking instantaneous knee-jerk reactions and conversation about love, respect for your partner and emotional devastation. Post after post filled social media timelines, of people having no love for the guy in the video, the metaphorical “face” behind so many #HurtBae’s around the world. A few people were making jokes, having found his actions to be funny, and they were swiftly blocked and/ or clapped back at. Understandably so, the video was really hard to watch. It was raw. It was uncomfortable. It was, for the lack of a better phrase…
It was triggering as h*ll.
I watched it and literally felt myself squirming and uncomfortable as she sat what was supposed to be therapy session close. I felt the awful pang of familiarity when she started off by saying she didn’t like him at first. I can relate. That feeling of going against your initial response to someone to give them a chance. My chest fell as she tried to smile through the obvious pain of knowing he was cheating, going so far as to remind him of the time she stopped by his place and he had another person there. He even went so far as to tell her to go home and when she did, she cried the rest of the night.
It’s said that hurt people, hurt people. The amount of twitter threads of people around the world connecting to that video, sharing their own pain is testament enough to that fact. Here we have this person willing to look past their partners’ honest to everything disregard for their feelings for the sake of the depth of how much they felt for them. At one point, he asked her why she didn’t leave him. She replied “because you’re my best friend.” We all screamed at our devices “SHE MEANT BECAUSE SHE LOVES YOU! YOU UNGRATEFUL BASTARD.” We connected. We felt that.
Because in the words of all the best oldies “when you love someone, you just don’t treat them bad.”
The one question I saw floating around the most was “how could he be so uncaring?” She was literally fighting back the tidal waves of emotion to even have that conversation with him and he couldn’t even muster an ounce of remorse. Had the whole nerve to then tell her he still wanted to be friends and see the woman she grows into.
Not only is that wildly selfish, it’s prolonging the pain and healing process. I repeat, he had the whole nerve to ask to remain in her life after betraying her trust and emotional well-being. It’s an often-overlooked form of emotional leeching. The same one causing all this pain wanting to stay around, wanting to “still be friends,” wanting to see what you grow into.
You don’t get to witness that. You have no right to even request that of someone you hurt that bad. Even worse, to not have any sort of human decency to even try to act remorseful to the person telling you that you hurt them?
Yeah, no. Absolutely not.
To the #HurtBae’s of the world:
Let it out. You are hurt. It is okay to cry, to scream. We’re human, we want to ask questions and 9/10, we won’t like the answers. Cut ties. It’s easier said than done, I know this. I lived this. For your sanity, for your emotional healing, you must. It’s necessary. Immerse yourself in something that makes you happy. Find your tribe of loved ones to lean on.
You’re worth so much more than one person’s disrespect and disregard for your feelings. You are so worthy for actual, all-encompassing love and affection.
It gets better.
Written by Aubri Elle