in ,

Lowering Our Standards

It’s April, advice 2015.
I just left my annual lady parts appointment at my school’s campus, find so that I could be prescribed another years worth of low dose oral contraceptive, Microgestin Fe 1/20. I was still feeling slightly violated, yet relieved that it was over as I made my way to work. I was literally fighting back tears as I replayed my appointment over in my head.

  img_0080
I had been on birth control for a good 5 years before making the decision to end popping the infamous cure-all baby stopping combination hormone pills. My gynecologist first prescribed them to me when I was 16, believing that I had endometriosis, telling me that birth control was the only thing besides surgery that would keep it under control. Every month, like clockwork, I would experience excruciating pain that would cause me to bloat like a 4 month pregnant woman and puke like the possessed girl from The Exorcist.
 regangross
regangrossOkay, maybe not as demonic, but you get the general idea. I had been taking the low dose oral contraception everyday at 9 p.m., rarely missing a pill. So my body was pretty accustomed to receiving hormones. The pain disappeared immediately, and I had short, light periods with clear skin. Perfect, right? So picture this raging hypochondriac sitting on a bench a few feet away from her job, tearing up at the thought of all the possible health risks she could develop.
lauracallaghan3

The doctor administering my exam told me during my breast exam that I had a few lumps that were normal, but that I should keep an eye out for them. This was nothing new; I had cysts in my boobs for years, and have gone to the doctor to get them checked out on a few different occasions. So her telling me that I had lumpy boobs wasn’t a surprise. It was essentially her telling me all the different ways that I had to check for cancer and abnormalities. That I needed to eat 10 cups of yogurt a day to ensure that I get my recommended intake of calcium and vitamin D, despite my protests against dairy, the food industry, and my already pretty healthy diet. It was her asking me about my family history, and me giving her a detailed list of all the things my family suffered from. I told her about my biological mother, a young woman diagnosed with schizophrenia, who died from a rare cancer when I was six. Or my biological father having high blood pressure, cholesterol, and recently suffered a stroke… and a few aunts who died from breast and other cancers. So hearing the doctor, (who is a breast cancer survivor ) tell me that I would never be able to get rid of the cysts in my breasts, and hear her bluntly discuss cancer like it could happen to me at any time overwhelmed the crap out of me. I remember feeling so out of control and vulnerable. But I decided that just because my families medical history literally SUCKS, it isn’t my destiny to develop those illnesses. So I decided to take control of my body by challenging everything my doctors have told me by cutting out animal products and caffeine completely out of my diet, adopting a more plant-based diet.

 lauracallaghan
 Art by Laura Callaghan

 

I first started out with replacing my daily morning coffee with a liter of kale, banana, and berry smoothies. Then I slowly began to remove dairy and meat from my diet, and eventually becoming a high carb, low fat vegan who consumed 3,000 calories (sometimes more) a day, and still maintaining my size 2 body type without much effort. My body thanked me by giving me more energy, clearer skin, normal sleeping patterns, and a tight and toned core. But most importantly, my cysts were gone.
I figured that since I was being conscientious about what I put into my body, taking birth control pills seemed counteractive due to the long-term health risks associated with it. I did my research before making the decision to end my 5 year relationship with the pills. Thankfully, the pain brought on by the endometriosis that my gyno thought could only be cured by oral contraceptives went away naturally due to my diet change.
Even though making the transition from omnivore to herbivore was seamless, the decision to quit oral contraceptives and go through the hormonal withdrawals wasn’t as easy. Because of the hormonal shift, I became depressed and developed extreme anxiety that lasted for a year. But it was a learning experience, and I grew to appreciate my body on an entirely different level. Not everyone’s body is the same, and as woman, it’s important to be aware of how our diet and certain medications can influence our bodies.
Written by Teresa Johnson
Visit her own personal blog here squeakywheelsite.wordpress.com
It’s April, seek 2015.
I just left my annual lady parts appointment at my school’s campus, so that I could be prescribed another years worth of low dose oral contraceptive, Microgestin Fe 1/20. I was still feeling slightly violated, yet relieved that it was over as I made my way to work. I was literally fighting back tears as I replayed my appointment over in my head.

  img_0080
I had been on birth control for a good 5 years before making the decision to end popping the infamous cure-all baby stopping combination hormone pills. My gynecologist first prescribed them to me when I was 16, believing that I had endometriosis, telling me that birth control was the only thing besides surgery that would keep it under control. Every month, like clockwork, I would experience excruciating pain that would cause me to bloat like a 4 month pregnant woman and puke like the possessed girl from The Exorcist.
 regangross
regangrossOkay, maybe not as demonic, but you get the general idea. I had been taking the low dose oral contraception everyday at 9 p.m., rarely missing a pill. So my body was pretty accustomed to receiving hormones. The pain disappeared immediately, and I had short, light periods with clear skin. Perfect, right? So picture this raging hypochondriac sitting on a bench a few feet away from her job, tearing up at the thought of all the possible health risks she could develop.
lauracallaghan3

The doctor administering my exam told me during my breast exam that I had a few lumps that were normal, but that I should keep an eye out for them. This was nothing new; I had cysts in my boobs for years, and have gone to the doctor to get them checked out on a few different occasions. So her telling me that I had lumpy boobs wasn’t a surprise. It was essentially her telling me all the different ways that I had to check for cancer and abnormalities. That I needed to eat 10 cups of yogurt a day to ensure that I get my recommended intake of calcium and vitamin D, despite my protests against dairy, the food industry, and my already pretty healthy diet. It was her asking me about my family history, and me giving her a detailed list of all the things my family suffered from. I told her about my biological mother, a young woman diagnosed with schizophrenia, who died from a rare cancer when I was six. Or my biological father having high blood pressure, cholesterol, and recently suffered a stroke… and a few aunts who died from breast and other cancers. So hearing the doctor, (who is a breast cancer survivor ) tell me that I would never be able to get rid of the cysts in my breasts, and hear her bluntly discuss cancer like it could happen to me at any time overwhelmed the crap out of me. I remember feeling so out of control and vulnerable. But I decided that just because my families medical history literally SUCKS, it isn’t my destiny to develop those illnesses. So I decided to take control of my body by challenging everything my doctors have told me by cutting out animal products and caffeine completely out of my diet, adopting a more plant-based diet.

 lauracallaghan
 Art by Laura Callaghan

 

I first started out with replacing my daily morning coffee with a liter of kale, banana, and berry smoothies. Then I slowly began to remove dairy and meat from my diet, and eventually becoming a high carb, low fat vegan who consumed 3,000 calories (sometimes more) a day, and still maintaining my size 2 body type without much effort. My body thanked me by giving me more energy, clearer skin, normal sleeping patterns, and a tight and toned core. But most importantly, my cysts were gone.
I figured that since I was being conscientious about what I put into my body, taking birth control pills seemed counteractive due to the long-term health risks associated with it. I did my research before making the decision to end my 5 year relationship with the pills. Thankfully, the pain brought on by the endometriosis that my gyno thought could only be cured by oral contraceptives went away naturally due to my diet change.
Even though making the transition from omnivore to herbivore was seamless, the decision to quit oral contraceptives and go through the hormonal withdrawals wasn’t as easy. Because of the hormonal shift, I became depressed and developed extreme anxiety that lasted for a year. But it was a learning experience, and I grew to appreciate my body on an entirely different level. Not everyone’s body is the same, and as woman, it’s important to be aware of how our diet and certain medications can influence our bodies.
Written by Teresa Johnson
Visit her own personal blog here squeakywheelsite.wordpress.com

You find yourself in a situation with a guy and you’re pretty much dumbfounded by the person you have become and most importantly, abortion what you have accepted. Imagine the feeling. You question yourself – when did I become this person? I wanted to share my story about a time when I admittedly lowered my standards, and almost couldn’t recognise the person that I had become.

I had been single for almost three years and to be honest I was lonely. My last experience with a guy had ended terribly and honestly, I was still carrying the burden. I had accepted such shitty behaviour from him time and time again, constantly chasing him and ignoring the advice my friends had given me – unknowingly dropping my own standards. But I had to be honest with myself, I couldn’t put all the blame on him when in actual fact, my willingness to get involved with him gave him the permission he needed to treat me like shit. Honesty is one the biggest contributing factors to personal growth, listen to your inner voice and when it’s about to do something stupid – correct it.

image1

Following on from my experience with this, I had sworn to myself that I would never accept behaviour like that from anyone. I had taken time to appreciate myself, noted what I wanted from a future partner and actually started to enjoy the single life, but the downfall appeared again and slapped me in the face before I could even think about it.

Rewind to a couple of months ago – I met someone and things were going great and I felt like I was finally beginning to trust again. Unfortunately that was short lived and slowly but surely, the same shitty behaviour patterns began to appear, which I saw but chose to ignore – again. After all the time it took for me to meet someone, why would I throw it all away just because he did something that slightly pissed me off? I chose to ignore it, lowered my standards and settled for bullshit behaviour.

I was ranting to a good friend about the situation one day who told me, “Alisha, you’re so used to shit behaviour that you don’t expect anything more“.

The words stung like hell but I had realised that I was not allowing the good energy to enter into my life because I had gotten so used to accommodating for the bad. My inner voice was screaming, she was the sassiest person I had ever met but somehow couldn’t appear within the actions or choices I made. I had become so miserable that it was affecting my family life and my friendships. I would sulk in the corner and constantly battle and blame myself for why my relationships with men had always fallen through. Until one day I thought to myself, ‘you know what – forget it’. I made the decision to remove my self from the situation and recognise that I needed to undergo personal development and learning.

unnamed

I’m a very forgiving person – I think it’s a great attribute to have but sometimes it is one of my most significant flaws. I prioritised accepting crappy behaviour above ‘I’m a forgiving person’ – rubbish is what I’m gonna say. You can be a forgiving individual as well as establishing boundaries with the person in question. In life we make countless amount of mistakes  but with that, comes countless opportunities to forgive yourself, let go and evolve. We need to learn to recognise when we are internally harming ourselves through the acceptance of other people’s misdemeanours. No matter what the situation, don’t fall into the trap of letting anyone violate you – to put it frankly.

I know that I have a long way to go but ultimately, acceptance and truth is a starter and the most important factor in my personal growth.

Written by Alisha D

alishadandy.blogspot.co.uk

What do you think?

3 points
Upvote Downvote

Total votes: 3

Upvotes: 3

Upvotes percentage: 100.000000%

Downvotes: 0

Downvotes percentage: 0.000000%

2 Comments

Leave a Reply
  1. I think so many women can relate to this article. In the hopes of finding love and possible healing from previous hurt, we settle for less. I had a similar experience with a partner who constantly made me doubt myself until one day I realised that I deserved better and walked away. It takes time to get get over a heart break but its so worth it in the end because you get what you deserve and so much more. Just know your worth and don’t take anything less!

    • Amina, I’m so glad you can relate! It’s such a difficult place to be in but it’s important to recognize when you’re settling for less. I’m so glad you realised you deserved better!

      Alisha
      x

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

It Is What It Is: My Truth As To Why I am Single.

Why Won’t You Reply?!