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Masturbation and The Bean

We live in an age where it’s widely accepted that nothing is sacred. Anything and anyone can be videoed, about it recorded or photographed and it’s also become entirely acceptable to share these instances with the rest of the world.  Many argue this is no bad thing, this site and in some situations, when witnesses have captured crime on video it has directly led to an arrest. In these instances, the fact that a passer-by happened to be in the right place at the right time with a camera phone is undoubtedly great.

 The flip side of this is the harrowing reality for many teens where everything they do (whether wise or foolish) is captured by their peers. Today, everyone is a director and a voyeur. If someone is feeling careless or even vindictive, everything from your poor sexual decisions, teenage drinking antics or embarrassing moments is there to be captured. This can have disturbing ramifications for vulnerable teens (as in the new Netflix documentary, Audrie and Daisy,). This is unquestionably bad.

But what about the middle ground? What about moments that are stupid or misguided but would have no actual implications unless they were made public? Countless examples exist of employees fired (or not hired) for thoughtless social media activity, posting something illegal, unprofessional or slanderous on their Facebook or Twitter. The well-worn argument that what you do in your personal life shouldn’t implicate your work life no longer holds much weight.

There seems to be a double standard here, however. As we speak, there is a theatrical, incredulous spectacle playing out across the pond. It also happens to be an ‘interview’ for one of the most important jobs in the world. Yet for some reason, the same rules don’t seem to apply.

In recent weeks, Donald Trump has been exposed as even more of a misogynistic oaf than we ever even imagined. Kicked off in earnest with a now widely circulated a tape where he claimed he just grabbed women ‘by the pussy’, a slew of new allegations continue to emerge- from former employees being groped to disturbing, sexualised comments about a ten year old girl.

Aside from the fact that some these incidents either are or condone sexual assault, the real kick in the teeth was the narrative that subsequently emerged. It might- I mean might– have made some iota of difference if Trump had taken some degree of ownership over these comments, and taken the opportunity to initiate much needed discussion around areas like consent and power and women’s rights. Instead, he went to great lengths to immediately dismiss it as ‘locker room chat’, indicating that bigotry and disturbing, objectifying comments are totally fine, as long as they are expressed in private. Oh, and that he ‘loves women’. That’s fine then.

Trump’s apologies and excuses are simply self-serving. He claims he’s ‘not perfect’. Perfect he does not have to be, but he is one of two candidates in the running for a job where upholding and representing a moral code that reflects a nation is pivotal. He could have emerged from this in a vaguely positive light had he used the incidents as a platform to raise awareness around this kind of language, how men should hold themselves accountable for ‘locker room chat’, especially when it talks about objectifying or assaulting women- whether or not any women hear it. He stated ‘the words do not reflect who I am’. Whether or not they do, Trump’s inability to notice the role of excuses in this narrative reflects who is much more profoundly.

He may lose some votes, but he won’t be out of the race, which sends the strongest message of all.
We live in an age where it’s widely accepted that nothing is sacred. Anything and anyone can be videoed, , buy recorded or photographed and it’s also become entirely acceptable to share these instances with the rest of the world.  Many argue this is no bad thing, and in some situations, when witnesses have captured crime on video it has directly led to an arrest. In these instances, the fact that a passer-by happened to be in the right place at the right time with a camera phone is undoubtedly great.

 The flip side of this is the harrowing reality for many teens where everything they do (whether wise or foolish) is captured by their peers. Today, everyone is a director and a voyeur. If someone is feeling careless or even vindictive, everything from your poor sexual decisions, teenage drinking antics or embarrassing moments is there to be captured. This can have disturbing ramifications for vulnerable teens (as in the new Netflix documentary, Audrie and Daisy,). This is unquestionably bad.

But what about the middle ground? What about moments that are stupid or misguided but would have no actual implications unless they were made public? Countless examples exist of employees fired (or not hired) for thoughtless social media activity, posting something illegal, unprofessional or slanderous on their Facebook or Twitter. The well-worn argument that what you do in your personal life shouldn’t implicate your work life no longer holds much weight.

There seems to be a double standard here, however. As we speak, there is a theatrical, incredulous spectacle playing out across the pond. It also happens to be an ‘interview’ for one of the most important jobs in the world. Yet for some reason, the same rules don’t seem to apply.

In recent weeks, Donald Trump has been exposed as even more of a misogynistic oaf than we ever even imagined. Kicked off in earnest with a now widely circulated a tape where he claimed he just grabbed women ‘by the pussy’, a slew of new allegations continue to emerge- from former employees being groped to disturbing, sexualised comments about a ten year old girl.

Aside from the fact that some these incidents either are or condone sexual assault, the real kick in the teeth was the narrative that subsequently emerged. It might- I mean might– have made some iota of difference if Trump had taken some degree of ownership over these comments, and taken the opportunity to initiate much needed discussion around areas like consent and power and women’s rights. Instead, he went to great lengths to immediately dismiss it as ‘locker room chat’, indicating that bigotry and disturbing, objectifying comments are totally fine, as long as they are expressed in private. Oh, and that he ‘loves women’. That’s fine then.

Trump’s apologies and excuses are simply self-serving. He claims he’s ‘not perfect’. Perfect he does not have to be, but he is one of two candidates in the running for a job where upholding and representing a moral code that reflects a nation is pivotal. He could have emerged from this in a vaguely positive light had he used the incidents as a platform to raise awareness around this kind of language, how men should hold themselves accountable for ‘locker room chat’, especially when it talks about objectifying or assaulting women- whether or not any women hear it. He stated ‘the words do not reflect who I am’. Whether or not they do, Trump’s inability to notice the role of excuses in this narrative reflects who is much more profoundly.

He may lose some votes, but he won’t be out of the race, which sends the strongest message of all.

Written by Alice Leahy
We live in an age where it’s widely accepted that nothing is sacred. Anything and anyone can be videoed, order recorded or photographed and it’s also become entirely acceptable to share these instances with the rest of the world.  Many argue this is no bad thing, for example, when witnesses have captured crime on video and directly aided  arrest. In these instances, the fact that a passer-by happened to be in the right place at the right time with a camera phone is undoubtedly great.

 The flip side of this is the harrowing reality for many teens where everything they do (whether wise or foolish) is captured by their peers. Today, everyone is a director and a voyeur. If someone is feeling careless or even vindictive, everything from your poor sexual decisions, teenage drinking antics or embarrassing moments is there to be captured. This can have disturbing ramifications for vulnerable teens (as in the new Netflix documentary, Audrie and Daisy,). This is unquestionably bad.

But what about the middle ground? What about moments that are stupid or misguided but would have no actual implications unless they were made public? Countless examples exist of employees fired (or not hired) for thoughtless social media activity, posting something illegal, unprofessional or slanderous on their Facebook or Twitter. The well-worn argument that what you do in your personal life shouldn’t implicate your work life no longer holds much weight.

There seems to be a double standard here, however. As we speak, there is a theatrical, incredulous spectacle playing out across the pond. It also happens to be an ‘interview’ for one of the most important jobs in the world. Yet for some reason, the same rules don’t seem to apply.

In recent weeks, Donald Trump has been exposed as even more of a misogynistic oaf than we ever even imagined. Kicked off in earnest with a now widely circulated a tape where he claimed he just grabbed women ‘by the pussy’, a slew of new allegations continue to emerge- from former employees being groped to disturbing, sexualised comments about a ten year old girl.

Aside from the fact that some these incidents either are or condone sexual assault, the real kick in the teeth was the narrative that subsequently emerged. It might- I mean might– have made some iota of difference if Trump had taken some degree of ownership over these comments, and taken the opportunity to initiate much needed discussion around areas like consent and power and women’s rights. Instead, he went to great lengths to immediately dismiss it as ‘locker room chat’, indicating that bigotry and disturbing, objectifying comments are totally fine, as long as they are expressed in private. Oh, and that he ‘loves women’. That’s fine then.

Trump’s apologies and excuses are simply self-serving. He claims he’s ‘not perfect’. Perfect he does not have to be, but he is one of two candidates in the running for a job where upholding and representing a moral code that reflects a nation is pivotal. He could have emerged from this in a vaguely positive light had he used the incidents as a platform to raise awareness around this kind of language, how men should hold themselves accountable for ‘locker room chat’, especially when it talks about objectifying or assaulting women- whether or not any women hear it. He stated ‘the words do not reflect who I am’. Whether or not they do, Trump’s inability to notice the role of excuses in this narrative reflects who is much more profoundly.

He may lose some votes, but he won’t be out of the race, which sends the strongest message of all.

Written by Alice Leahy
We live in an age where it’s widely accepted that nothing is sacred. Anything and anyone can be videoed, drug recorded or photographed and it’s also become entirely acceptable to share these instances with the rest of the world.  Many argue this is no bad thing, thumb for example, when witnesses have captured crime on video and directly aided an arrest. In these instances, the fact that a passer-by happened to be in the right place at the right time with a camera phone is undoubtedly great.

 The flip side of this is the harrowing reality for many teens where everything they do (whether wise or foolish) is captured by their peers. Today, everyone is a director and a voyeur. If someone is feeling careless or even vindictive, everything from your poor sexual decisions, teenage drinking antics or embarrassing moments is there to be captured. This can have disturbing ramifications for vulnerable teens (as in the new Netflix documentary, Audrie and Daisy,). This is unquestionably bad.

But what about the middle ground? What about moments that are stupid or misguided but would have no actual implications unless they were made public? Countless examples exist of employees fired (or not hired) for thoughtless social media activity, posting something illegal, unprofessional or slanderous on their Facebook or Twitter. The well-worn argument that what you do in your personal life shouldn’t implicate your work life no longer holds much weight.

There seems to be a double standard here, however. As we speak, there is a theatrical, incredulous spectacle playing out across the pond. It also happens to be an ‘interview’ for one of the most important jobs in the world. Yet for some reason, the same rules don’t seem to apply.

In recent weeks, Donald Trump has been exposed as even more of a misogynistic oaf than we ever even imagined. Kicked off in earnest with a now widely circulated a tape where he claimed he just grabbed women ‘by the pussy’, a slew of new allegations continue to emerge- from former employees being groped to disturbing, sexualised comments about a ten year old girl.

Aside from the fact that some these incidents either are or condone sexual assault, the real kick in the teeth was the narrative that subsequently emerged. It might- I mean might– have made some iota of difference if Trump had taken some degree of ownership over these comments, and taken the opportunity to initiate much needed discussion around areas like consent and power and women’s rights. Instead, he went to great lengths to immediately dismiss it as ‘locker room chat’, indicating that bigotry and disturbing, objectifying comments are totally fine, as long as they are expressed in private. Oh, and that he ‘loves women’. That’s fine then.

Trump’s apologies and excuses are simply self-serving. He claims he’s ‘not perfect’. Perfect he does not have to be, but he is one of two candidates in the running for a job where upholding and representing a moral code that reflects a nation is pivotal. He could have emerged from this in a vaguely positive light had he used the incidents as a platform to raise awareness around this kind of language, how men should hold themselves accountable for ‘locker room chat’, especially when it talks about objectifying or assaulting women- whether or not any women hear it. He stated ‘the words do not reflect who I am’. Whether or not they do, Trump’s inability to notice the role of excuses in this narrative reflects who is much more profoundly.

He may lose some votes, but he won’t be out of the race, which sends the strongest message of all.

Written by Alice Leahy

Self-discovery has been huge for me the last few months, more about I’ve found out a lot of things about myself. Independence, , dosage patience, page and, my clitoris. I finally figured out how to masturbate, and I can’t believe how many orgasms I have missed out on over the years. I am not a prude, nor am I ashamed of my body, I just managed to skip that very vital part of self-discovery during my teenage years. Instead of touching myself, I went and touched others.

For some reason, I couldn’t fathom the thought of getting myself off when I could get someone to do it for me? Seemed logical at the time, and I definitely lived by that theory for years. I believed it was the males obligation to not only find my clitoris but know how to stimulate it and achieve climax. I know now that’s a big ask of some males, and I’ll never have such high expectations again. Rather be pleasantly surprised.
But, how could I expect someone to get me off when I didn’t know how to do it myself? It’s very unfair on my behalf, and highly daunting for the person who I was expecting an orgasm from. I was setting myself up for failure. There were plenty of times I tried to masturbate and see what all the fuss was about, but, I couldn’t wrap my head around it. It felt uncomfortable and as though I was being violated by my own hands.
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From time to time I dabbled in the occasional vibrator, which I rather enjoyed, but not enough to call it a habit. I never knew how to fit masturbating into my day, and, I never felt horny enough to be bothered to figure it out. But, something changed in me after a recent breakup, and, I wanted to learn to love myself again. Wanted to get to know every part of my body, mind, and soul. First stop, my vagina.
Feeling rather nervous and a little tipsy, I headed with my new vibrator to the shower. Letting the hot water wash over my body, and giving into myself completely, I found what I was looking for all these years. Validation from myself. I finally accepted who I was enough to turn myself on and orgasm. Never wanting to forget this feeling, I soon made it a habit, at least once a day, three if I was lucky. Reminding myself more each time that I am worth it, I am a sex goddess, I own the pussy, I make the rules!
Once I knew my way around my vagina, I started to move around the rest of my body. Began eating better, feeling clearer, more motivated and genuinely happy. Learning to love my own company and my body was a massive step and one of the most important parts of my self-discovery journey.
rupaul_if_you_cant
As RuPaul says,
If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?
I always thought it was a punchy catchphrase, but, it’s now a phrase I say to myself every day. Never knew learning to masturbate would be such an eye-opening experience for me, and I can’t recommend this feeling enough. Finding time for yourself and your vagina is very important for every aspect of your being.
Go rub one out, for me.
Written by Laura Bracken

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